was one of the best nights I have had in awhile. I was nervous to go, just due to the general demographic that generally goes to these kinds of things, but it really wasn’t bad at all. I went with my two best friends, and we were scantily clad and ready for a good time. We went and found two guys that we are friends with and pretty much stuck with them all night. We danced with many men, both strangers and friends. It was fabulous. I was worried about what I wore, and what could happen. But once we got there I felt like I owned the place. We all looked hot, and we wanted to have a good time. That made me beyond confident. At one point they played the song Cat Daddy and they asked people to get up on stage and do it and about 7 people did, and in an uncharacteristic decision I climbed up on stage, and Cat Daddyed my butt off. Some girls by the stage said I was sexy. It was fabulous, and it made me feel awesome. It was so fun to let loose and not worry. It was just the kind of night I needed. On the way out, one of the two guys we hung out with that night texted me and told me that I looked “extremely nice”. I had a blast.
I like you. I don’t like you. I’m attracted to you, no I’m not. I love hanging out with you. I don’t want to ruin anything. We are best friends. Sometimes I am terrified of you, and what could happen. I’m worried about awkwardness. I wanna to tell you everything. I want you to tell me everything. This is impossible. I could climb Mount Everest and it would be easier.
It seems as though I am attractive, possibly even desirable. This has never before been the case. I can’t think of what has caused this, or if I have been like this all along. It is so foreign, and I don’t want to enjoy this for fear that I will become too full of this or that I will be in over my head. I just don’t quite understand.